


You Make Me Feel So Young

by Atumun15



Series: The True Magic [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Death, Drug Abuse, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Sad, Underage - Freeform, but not really?, loosely based off of Peter pan, mental disabilities, please beware, suicide?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 21:02:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14818811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atumun15/pseuds/Atumun15
Summary: “forget them, Jeongin. Forget them all. Come with me where you'll never, never have to worry about grown up things again. Never is an awfully long time”





	You Make Me Feel So Young

**Author's Note:**

> So! Welcome to the first part of my fairy tale series! I hope you guys enjoy this even though it's a really rough start but what can ya do. 
> 
> This may contain some triggering stuff so please beware <3

The smell of alcohol and weed was rather aggravating to the black haired, fox-eyed boy in the back corner.  He wanted to scream out in pure frustration, tired of people dragging him into the neon lighting to dance or forcing drinks and joints into his hands. He already felt like his head was spinning from being in the brightly colored but suffocatingly small house, and he really didn’t need anything else that could worsen that nausea. However, as people walked past him, small bags in their hands filled with white powder and makeup melting off of their faces, Yang Jeongin wondered if he could defile himself just a little bit and forget about the last few days with one line of the precious white powder he had been trying to avoid.

 

“Jeongin!” Suddenly, a head of blond, messy hair was in his line of vision, and Jeongin’s back was pressed against the wall with a constellation of brown stars in front of him. “‘I’ve been looking for you all night,” Felix husked, palms resting on Jeongin’s hips as he nuzzled his nose into his cheek, filling Jeongin’s nostrils with the bitter stench of alcohol. Jeongin squirmed under Felix’s touch but melted all the same. It was familiar, but uncomfortably so with the alcohol added into the mix. “Come dance with me, Innie. Let’s have fun,” Felix slurred, tugging Jeongin closer into his body before guiding them out into the middle of the dance floor. Jeongin felt like he was going to throw up when people forced drinks down his throat left and right while urging him to take a line from the mirror they were passing around.

 

It was all extremely overwhelming, and Jeongin could feel the tears coming to his eyes while his blood pumped erratically and Felix was pressed kisses anywhere he could reach. Jeongin wanted to forget; he thought that the alcohol and drugs would help him forget everything that had happened over the last few months. But nothing could take away the lingering feeling of harsh hands on his hips, the quietness of the night being interrupted by his own screams and cries, and the pain he felt the morning after. The alcohol only seemed to heighten the memories, almost making him remember things he hadn’t before. And in the midst of his intoxication and the colors all around him, Jeongin thought he remembered a face.

 

But as quickly as he remembered it, he forgot; the only thing that could stand out in his head was the image of unforgiving, animalistic eyes. A sob racked his body, his limbs acting out before he could even think and shoving everyone away as he darted to the nearest bathroom. Jeongin didn’t realize it at the time, but there was already someone in there, puking their guts out into the toilet, but Jeongin couldn’t hear anything over the ringing in his ears. All except a soft voice telling him to stop when he began to beat furiously against the sink. “ _Hey… Calm down!_ ”

 

Jeongin couldn’t think. He felt like he was losing the feeling in his body as his mind slowly faded away into nothing and his blood turned to a thick mush. Why did it have to be him? Why did he have to be weird one in the family? Did he really deserve to be treated like a ragdoll that night? Maybe. Maybe this was karma for being so fucked in the head and giving his parents such a hard time. Jeongin was useless. Why was he even still here? Jeongin gripped the sink tightly, letting the tears cascade down his cheeks and land in the blood stained porcelain below. He flinched when a hand landed on his shoulder and swiveled him around, coming face to face with someone too beautiful to be real.

 

It was a boy, to no surprise, and he was gorgeous with his gentle, pink smile, plump cheeks, pinkish ginger hair that fell in his eyes and sweet, almond eyes. He reminded Jeongin of a squirrel to a certain extent, and Jeongin probably would have cooed if he weren’t in the state he was in. “ _Breathe. Calm down. Do you want some fresh air?_ ” Jeongin didn’t know who this boy was, but he seemed familiar to him, so he followed him anyway. That was his first mistake. “ _Alright okay, we’ll go find you some fresh air,_ ” the stranger sighed before grabbing Jeongin by the bicep and guiding him out through the backway of the house. Jeongin knew he should have said something when he was dragged closer to the forest just outside, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t thinking straight.

 

They stopped right in front of the creek separating the city from the forest surrounding it, and Jeongin felt like he was just on the edge of receiving fresh air, but his lungs were stuck in his throat. He was finding it hard to breathe. “ _Drink this. It’s water._ ” Jeongin doesn’t know where the glass came from and how the fuck this strange boy had gotten it, but at the time he didn’t care. Jeongin was willing to do anything to get this choking feeling in his throat to go away. He downed it in one, letting out a content hum when the cold water slipped into his mouth, ran down his throat, and cleared the supposed barriers keeping him from breathing. “ _You act like you haven’t drank water in weeks,_ ” the stranger teased lightly, stuffing his hands in his pockets and watching Jeongin in curiosity.

 

“I basically haven’t.” Despite it coming out slurred and from his intoxicated mind, it was true. Jeongin hadn’t been able to stomach much rather than the alcohol and a bagel every morning, and his body felt like it was dying. He was nearing his death, and his whole body knew it too. The water just seemed to keep coming until Jeongin felt refreshed and his mind was clear enough to start asking questions. “Who are you?” he murmured after a while, sitting on the ground while staring at the shimmering creek in front of him. The stranger glanced at him, a small hum leaving his lips as he inched closer towards Jeongin.

 

“ _My name’s Jisung. And you?_ ”

 

“Jeongin.”

 

They sat in a timid silence for a while after that, shoulder’s brushing as they walked into the moving water in front of them. “ _Do you want to go somewhere? I know a really good American diner, and we can just cut through the forest_ ,” Jisung murmured, lips quirked up into a tiny pout. He should have said no. He should have just asked to stay there at the creek or part ways with him completely and go home. But there was a thrill to Jisung that Jeongin craved. Something about Jisung told Jeongin that he would make Jeongin forget, even if it was for just a few moments. “ _We don’t have to if you’re opposed to it. I won’t try and force you_.” Maybe that’s what really had Jeongin hooked. Maybe for the first time in a long time, someone gave him consent, and Jeongin became attached.

 

“Sure. Whatever you want to do.” _He should have said no_.

 

A wide smile spread across Jisung’s lips and he took Jeongin by the hand once their shoes were back on, leaping across the mossy rocks and into the forest. He wasn’t sure what this forest was; he had always been told to never go too far into it, but the deeper he walked, the more Jeongin began to wonder why he was told to never step foot in here when it was absolutely _gorgeous_. Fireflies flew all around them, lighting up the way, and Jeongin was amazed by the array of flowers all around him as they walked along the same creek that lead deeper into the forest. Somewhere along the way, the diner had been long forgotten, and they were too held up in conversation to realize what had been truly going on.

 

“Do you ever wish you could just disappear for a while?” The question was sudden, and perhaps a bit too deep for two boys that had met not even an hour before, but Jeongin didn’t feel uncomfortable with Jisung.

 

“ _Yeah. I’ve done it a few times,_ ” Jisung murmured without missing a beat, staring at the leaves he had been crushing with every step. Suddenly, ghostly cold fingers hooked around Jeongin’s, and the younger felt like the breath escaped his lungs. “ _It’s nice… to just ditch town and never look back. I’ve done it at least twice this year. I’m about to do it a third._ ” Jisung sounded rather dazed when he spoke, the most emotion to his voice that Jeongin had managed to pick up on all night. But Jeongin squeezed his hand at the idea. He didn’t want Jisung to leave. He seemed to be only sane one in this town. “ _Why do you want to leave?_ ”

 

Jeongin didn’t halt his steps, but they seemingly slowed in speed as he tried to gather his thoughts. The last person he had spoken to about this was Felix, and the boy didn’t even listen during the entirety of the explanation. His parents knew about it and forced him to keep his mouth shut. In this world, the one Jeongin found himself placed in, cruelty and lies polluted the air. In this world, you had to put on a perfect face for those all around you, masking the demons inside your head and letting the world believe you’re normal. Jeongin wasn’t normal, and with his frequent hallucinations, suicidal tendencies and past experiences, he was a burden to the family, and boy, _did they make sure he knew it._

 

 At that moment, Jeongin wanted to run and dodge the question completely, but Jisung held him by his fingers, and the younger was coaxed into sharing his story. “No one would miss me here. These last few months… they’ve really shown me what true hate and self loathing feel like.” Jisung stared at Jeongin in thought, coaxing him to explain himself further. “I was out with my friend Felix one night. We went to the nearby club and managed to worm our way in. I shouldn’t have gone that night, but Felix forced me into it. He said he’d tell everyone about what we’ve done in the past.” Jeongin choked for a second, a sudden burst of anger exploding in his chest. “He abandoned me and I had to find my way home. He found a cute guy and left me in the club with a bunch of men eyeing me like a piece of meat.”

 

Jisung shifted his fingers so he was completely enveloping Jeongin’s hands, but nothing could offer Jeongin comfort. Not when he was remembering such a vulnerable moment in his life. “This guy… he offered to take me home when he realized I was too uncomfortable there. He was really sweet at first, but he… he _snapped_. He pulled me into an alleyway and raped me that night and I don’t even remember his face,” Jeongin spat out, rubbing his wrist when the familiar ache began to linger in the back of his mind. He could still feel his touch. “He left me there. I managed to find my way home, and Felix didn’t even bat an eye at my appearance. He was too busy with that boy he found.”  

 

Jeongin wanted to cry and scream. God, he wanted anything but the anger fading away into an emptiness he was all too familiar with. “My parents… they told me to keep my mouth shut. They didn’t want it making out into the public that their youngest son was tainted. It wasn’t fair on them,” Jeongin uttered bitterly, scuffing his already torn shoes against the earth below. “I want to disappear. Forever.” A silence fell over them after that, Jisung keeping his hand curled around Jeongin’s as a sign of loyalty and comfort. “Help me forget, hyung. I’ll do anything.” He really, really shouldn’t have said that. But Jisung made him feel young again, and he wanted to keep that feeling.

 

“ _Of course._ ” They kept walking. They walked and walked for what felt like ages, finally leaving the forest and making it to a dodgy looking apartment complex, another boy standing at the edge of the forest with a tender smile. “ _Take this money and go up to room 28. Ask for the acorn and thimble._ ” Jisung shoved a bit of crumbled money into Jeongin’s palm before motioning for him to get moving. Jeongin felt like his heart was pumping at a million miles per hour as he climbed the steps and approached the door at the very end of the complex. He stood in front of it for only a moment before knocking on it gently, gathering the attention of whoever was inside.

 

“What?” The door swung open and a tattooed man stood before him, only a few inches smaller than Jeongin but with biceps that were about the size of Jeongin’s head. “Answer me, kid!” the man snarled, brushing his hair out of his eyes before a silver haired man came up behind him, presumably older, but still smaller than Jeongin. He offered Jeongin a small smile and dragged the tattooed man back with a roll of his eyes.

 

“I need the acorn and thimble.” A silence fell over them for a moment, the two men eyeing Jeongin wearily, asking for the money first. Jeongin didn’t hesitate to hand over the crumbled money and the tattooed man escaped back inside the dark apartment, the silver haired one standing guard. Jeongin stared at his feet, gulping slightly when he heard the angry huff of the previous man a few moments later. Jeongin didn’t even offer them a goodnight or bother to check what was inside the bag before he grabbed it and darted off back down the stairs and towards the forest, where Jisung was waiting patiently with a book in his lap. “Where did you get that?”

 

Jisung merely laughed and closed it, grabbing for Jeongin’s hand and leading him back into the forest. Eventually, they stumbled upon a lit up cabin in the middle of the woods, smoke rising from the chimney and reaching the stars in the sky. Jeongin didn’t remember this on the way through, but he presumed he missed it or Jisung took him a different route. They walked up the three wooden steps and Jisung pushed open the door, revealing what had been inside. Music was playing faintly, multi-colored fairy lights hanging up all around the room, and there was a mattress in the corner with blankets draped across it. The cabin was a mess, really, with the multiple food cans opened and lying about and the magazines and books stacked up, but something about it made Jeongin warm and fuzzy inside.

 

The door clicked shut behind him, and Jeongin had dropped the bag of contents in his hand when arms slipped around his torso and lips pressed to the back of his head. Something within the atmosphere changed and Jeongin… Jeongin wasn’t entirely sure if he liked it or not. Jisung separated himself and picked up the bag, opening it on the table with his back turned towards the younger. “ _You said you wanted to forget, no?_ ” Jisung uttered, getting his much needed confirmation before turning and revealing what had been in his hand. Jeongin choked out a quiet yes, sucking in a harsh breath when Jisung showed him the needle in his hand and a devilish smile on his lips. Jeongin should have said no.

 

“ _Come on, darling_ ,” Jisung hushed, inching forward and taking Jeongin’s wrist in his hand. Jeongin melted into his touch, standing unmoving while Jisung wrapped a rubber strand around his upper arm before flicking the needle and inserting it into his veins. Jeongin shuddered at the feeling, keeping his jaw locked and feeling his body almost go completely numb. “ _Now just let it do its thing, darling._ ”  They swayed to the music playing, Jisung holding up his ragdoll-like body until Jeongin was practically limp in his arms. “ _Do you want to lie down? I’ll sing to you._ ” The next thing the younger was aware of, he was lying down on a hard mattress and Jisung was hovering over him with a tender look in his eyes.

 

“ _How are you feeling?_ ”

 

“Like I want you to kiss me.”  

 

Jeongin felt like his lips were sliding into Jisung’s, as if they hadn’t really been touching, but Jeongin didn’t seem to mind. His head was spinning and everything was fading out. He found the feeling of Jisung holding his waist and enclosing his lips entirely intoxicating, and he didn’t want it to stop. _“Forget them, Jeongin. Forget them all. Come with me where you'll never, ever have to worry about grown up things again. Never is an awfully long time._ ” It sounded too inviting with the way Jisung said it. Jisung sounded like god himself when he uttered the words, staring him in the eyes as their foreheads pressed together and he held Jeongin’s face. He was scared to say yes. He didn’t want this to end. He wanted to keep kissing Jisung.

 

_He should have said no._

 

“Of course.”

 

With every blink, something disappeared. First it had been the lights, then it was the magazines, then it was the books, then it was the mattress, and soon it had been the feeling of Jisung’s lips. Jeongin stared up at the ceiling with his mouth agape and body numb in the dark cabin in the dark forest, all in an even darker world. He realized why Jisung’s face had been so familiar to him, why his touch felt so familiar, and he also realized that none of it had been real. His mind had taken the thing that had made him miserable in hopes of making him happy, and as Jeongin’s eyes fluttered closed, a bittersweet feeling swelled in his chest.

 

Because living is an awfully big adventure, but one day, it must end.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_“This morning, 19 year-old Yang Jeongin was found in an empty cabin in the woods three days after his sudden disappearance. Sources say that he overdosed on heroin and faced physical trauma from a second party. Lee Felix, who went missing a day after, is presumed to be a suspect, and police are out searching for him at this very moment…”_

 

[[Moodboard]](https://twitter.com/atumun15/status/1002526253176549377)


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